The Rules

Sarah-Graham Turtletaub is a conversational genius. I’ve never met someone so adept at getting strangers to pour their hearts out in a matter of minutes. The secret to her success? Ask questions. Meaningful questions. Ones with answers that give you a glimpse into who someone really is. My current favorite is, “if you could do anything for a living, what would you do? Don’t be practical, don’t be shy, just dream big.” On January 1st of this new year, my friend Vi beat me to the punch and asked our lovable, ragtag group of friends, “what’s your dream job?” The answers that followed were fantastic. Sunk low in a colorful beach chair on the shore of a tiny island south of Bangkok, I listened to seven people give raw, honest responses to a question that really requires you to bare a piece of your soul. Vulnerability is necessary and optimism is key. Among the tremendous answers, from a Californian bro with an internal Rosetta Stone and an outlook eerily similar to my brother Ian’s, was the idea of using his connection and appreciation for nature combined with his knack for picking up foreign language to lead wilderness excursions in the States for international visitors. Brilliant. The South African, rugby-playing bloke who sat to my left sipping a Chang would love to apply his fine arts degree at a place like Pixar. An oxymoron that makes perfect sense. Is that a paradox? People are just continually surprising me here, with their wealth of life experience and diversity of passions. Every conversation seems to serve as a reminder that you really don’t know anything about anyone. You can be so certain that you have someone figured out and then they throw this curveball about their vision for the future and you're back to square one, which is usually where you belong anyway, I guess. From square one, I know that the Brit that rounded out this circle of comrades is from Manchester. He’s an avid United fan. I am constantly laughing in his presence and he lives by two rules.

Rule Number One: Its only paper.

Rule Number Two: It’s not where you are, but who you're with.

He’s mostly joking when he demands our adherence to these laws, but I so often find wisdom in his silliness. Money is only paper, but it can be traded for greater things. A ticket to Thailand, a meal for a monk, an education, or a beachside feast with a bunch of dreamers. Because it’s not where you are, but who you're with. I sat down to lunch that day with seven goofballs I’d met at orientation, traded some paper for some grub, and stood up an hour later with a National Geographic photographer, a professor of industrial engineering, an employee of the National Basketball Association, a cross-cultural wildlife excursion guide, a student ambassador at a Thai university, a writer for a comedy series, and one of the creative minds behind Pixar. Not too shabby.